Yesterday, on January 24th, Chris and I celebrated our 4th anniversary together. While four years seems like a long time together, it honestly has flown by. I feel like it was just yesterday that I was a senior in high school and this random boy swept me off my feet. I knew he was interested in me when he invited me over to his parents house to watch The Vampires Diaries out of the blue (this was my weakness, and still is), and eventually Thursday nights were our weekly get togethers where we would watch the season together. Cheesy I know, but hey it clearly worked.
I thought I would do a post about our relationship because many of my new readers are probably curious. I know that I am super obsessed with all the girls I follow and their love lives and personal lives, so I thought I might save the Facebook and Instagram stalking time for you all and just lay it out there (: I mixed in a little relationship advice as well in this post, so keep reading!
What many people don't know is that towards the end of my senior year in high school, Chris moved to where we currently live, East Tennessee. When he told me that he was moving, it definitely did come as a shock, but I was more in denial I guess. I knew he was special so I spent all my senior graduation money on a ticket to go visit him the summer after he moved. I ended up attending the University of Washington my first two years in college and after doing long distance for two years (only seeing him every few months), I pretty much told him I was moving in with him, or at least to Tennessee.
Well here we are now! We currently live in a house together and I am finishing my senior year of college up online at the University of Washington. While the past four years have brought us so many unforgettable adventures and wonderful memories, we have definitely had our ups and downs.
Moving in with your boyfriend or girlfriend is such a huge step, one that both sides of the relationship have to be 500% committed to if you are going to make the jump. While we were absolutely terrified to move in with each other (I was moving across the entire country for this boy), we were also incredibly excited for our futures together. It is absolutely insane how much you learn about a person when you live with them. You learn their everyday habits, what makes them tick, what makes them smile ear to ear, and everything in between. I will admit, after about four months of living with Chris, we definitely went through about a few months of some difficult times. I was missing home, my sorority, and my family. It was finally hitting me that, holy cow, we are living with each other. Like, forever.
What I am so thankful for was the patience Chris had for me. He understood that I was going through a crazy adjustment and he was willing to endure the nights where I stayed up crying all night because he knew that they would eventually lead to days of pure happiness. Once I finally let go of the things I was missing and focused back on the reasons I chose to move in with him, things got a whole lot easier. We have lived with each other a little over a year and a half now and things are amazing. I wouldn't trade anything, not even finishing out my college years on campus with my sorority, for what I have now. Living with each other has been such a testament to our relationship and I am incredibly happy that we both took that leap.
With that being said, if you are thinking about moving in with your significant other or already are, please read the following tips and try applying them to your own relationship. They are what have gotten Chris and I through pretty much everything and are so important if you want a relationship to last forever.
- Have patience for one another. You both are growing and learning about yourselves as well as each other. Patience is everything.
- Show affection and love for each other daily.
- Remind each other why you love them.
- Laugh and smile often.
- Don't have unrealistic expectations. It is unfair for your partner to expect them to be Ryan Reynolds or Noah from The Notebook.
- Cherish the little moments. Most times, those are the biggest moments.
- Stop comparing your relationship to other relationships. This is a big one. There will always be couples that seem more adventurous, more attractive people, and what not. This especially goes for "Instagram Couples". Comparing yourself to those "perfect couples" is bound to end your relationship.
- Take time for yourself. If you live with someone, don't forget to make time for yourself. It's unhealthy to spend every moment of everyday with one another. Making time for a girls night will keep you sane, I promise.
- Limit the complaining.
- Be confident in your own relationship.
- Don't hold grudges and never go to sleep angry.
- Don't give up. You will go through times that are hard as hell. You will question why you are with that person and if it's worth it. If you really love them, it's worth it. Every single relationship has rough patches and you will get through it.
- Be each other's best friend.
- Remember, a relationship is give and take. You have to be willing to give before you can take.
- Respect one another.
- Don't forget why you fell in love with the person in the first place.
- Never change who you are. While improving your cleanliness and maturing is different, don't change your morals and values because your partner wants you to. Stay true to yourself.
- Stay committed to one another. There will be temptations with any relationship, but if you are truly happy, nothing will be better than what you already have.
- Stop fighting with each other and fight for each other. You are both on the same team.
I hope this advice helps you all with your own relationships. Many of these points can be applied to friendships as well. If any of you are thinking about moving in with your boyfriend or whoever and have specific questions or just want to talk about it with someone, I am all ears. My inbox is always open for questions!
Living with the one you love is so much fun and the best decision Chris and I have made. You get to wake up to their adorable face every morning and always have someone to keep you warm at night. It definitely is not for everyone but for those of you that make that decision, I wish you the best. ❤️ While no relationship is perfect, mine is perfect for me. In the end, that's all that matters.
xo, Heather Marie
PS. if you move in with a boy... they fart a lot more than you think. Be prepared.